Taking it Slow?

I love to read. I check out more library books in a week than one card allows, use two different district library systems and utilise cards for both Justice and I at both. I read compulsively and pretty much anything. And honestly, I thought that this recovery time would mean that I just read more and more...

Instead, I find I am unable to read more than a few chapters at a time. I don't do this. When I open a book, I read it cover to cover. Its my system, its been my system for years, and I'm used to it. While I will occasionally keep one book upstairs and one down, otherwise I read at least a single book cover to cover each day. Now either pain, pain killers, too much time or something weirder means I have started three books in the last two days, left them each in different rooms and haven't gotten far with any of them. And I WANT TO - these are good books...

For instance, I am eight pages into Mina Ford's MY FAKE WEDDING, which actually maybe I shouldn't read now because laughing is toxic for my recovery... and I can NOT believe I haven't read more... Listen to this....

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Sometimes, I can be a right cow. I've been known to do wees on people's toothbrushes when they annoy me. I'm morbidly fascinated by news of terrible tragedies in the papers. Quite often, I don't wash up for a week. Oh, I have my faults all right.

And crap taste in men is fairly high up on the list.

I am one tragic cow when it comes to choosing a partner. For a start, I was born with wonky Gaydar. I'm a serial fancier of gay men. Show me a rampant homosexual male and I'll try and get off with him. ...

I've reeled, dazed with shock, from every relationship I've had the misfortune to totter into. ... I've taken so much crap I'm a prime candidate for toxic shock. ...

I've done relationships and I prefer cake. ...

Then I met Jake.
And suddenly the world became a happier, shinier place.
Jake, Uberbloke, graphic designer and driver of gleaming red Surrogate Penis, smarmed his way into my life just over a year ago...

I cursed myself for being a jelly spined wimp who could never refuse an invitation. ...

This prime subject wasted no time in engaging my left breast in lengthy conversation about his favourite subject. Himself. ...

I hoped my boob was listening in case there were questions later...

You know, you just know, that this is hilarious to me. And I am bored, doing nothing but trying to get well. And I put it down... After reading a book every day since 1994, WHAT is this? In a week I haven't finished ANYTHING....

Anyway - just checking in to let you know I'm still kicking seeing as its Friday the 13th and all.