Saturday, June 20, 2009

Slow to Let Go...

When I was pregnant with Justice, I outgrew all my Docs. Literally. Not the didn't fit while I was pregnant kind of outgrew, but the full fledged, never could comfortably wear them again outgrew. Which, considering I had TEN pairs of the things was really horribly unfair!

I tried the get them wet in the shower trick (of boat job fame - we swore by this on the Mississippi Queen). I tried the shoe horn game. The wear thick socks and limp around... But at the end of the day, reality was only my black mules and the brown sandals I talked Suzi out of fit. And the sandals might not count since they were a size 5 and all the others were a 4...

Anyway, Justice is five and a half. Obviously this was not a recent development. However, last night I finally cleaned out my shoe box. It helped that my closest friend here has Doc Marten size 4 feet. I could never have simply donated them to the Salvos. And Will teased that he was surprised I didn't ebay them. But the problem was, I couldn't.

See, oddly enough I didn't have all these Docs just because I loved them. I also had them because friends knew I loved them...

Tara gave me the coolest pair of all black double strap and buckle Mary Janes one year for Christmas. I wore them so often and with everything - I even wore through the sole... They were the coolest Doc Mary Janes I have ever seen! And the first pair I ever had without yellow stitching...

Suzi gave me the brown, nearly black sandals she picked up for a steal at Costco. I loved having sandals that added two inches!! Never mind all the fond memories of Costco runs and late night shopping trips that they represented... I miss living with Suzi in Colorado!

My red docs were the only shoes I took with me when I actually left everyone and everything behind for a little while and tried out living overseas. Which I must have enjoyed, because I took it on permanently! Every photo I have in Dublin I have those shoes on (because in Dublin I finally met people I trusted to take pictures and return the camera). Actually, I met Faith in those shoes! Trekked through Glendalough in them...


Then there were my black lace ups, which signified the endless stream of boat jobs - no matter how dolled up we got in our "vintage" uniforms, we all trudged around in the ultra comfortable black Docs.


I bought my green ones on the first ever travel somewhere together vacation I took with a friend. Worrying over balancing what we both wanted to do and see, realising we were perfectly suited travel companions... That trip to Portland was wonderful, and I always had the fuzziest memories of the day at Pittock Mansion when I slipped them on...

I know that it is so silly, but I loved all those shoes, the reminders of trips taken, close friendships, time spent in Ireland - all of it.

So, it took me five and a half years (really?!) but I have cleaned out the cupboards, unpacked the box in the garage - and swamped someone else's shelf with great shoes.

I am learning to let go.

However, I am not adverse to starting over.
I am a size UK 5 now.


And I am hanging out for a pair of cherry reds. Just in case you were wondering...

And, of course, I am a traditionalist.

4 comments:

Mark and Tara Christiansen said...

I love this post! I can't picture you without your docs. I'll keep my eyes open for a cute pair.Ü

Steff Childs said...

I'm with you my friend. Do you remember how many times I killed my feet for a pair of cute shoes? Oh... And my purse habit... I still can't let go of my purses. And then again, I to remember your Docs from high school. Didn't Mr. Strout even comment on your shoes in your yearbook?

caitlynrose said...

Yes, you're right... Those purple ones... I just can't believe that I outgrew freaking shoes in my late twenties! Seriously unfair.

M2 said...

I will look for a cute pair as well--although they are not as popular anymore here in Colorado. I could find some great Crocs or these ugly sandals called Chacos that all the Boulderites wear. Yes--I own a pair of Chacos (they were a smoking deal at Costco last Summer...clearance) and I think they look cuter than Tivas!